As a small child, I had a tendency to have the same dreams over and over and over and over. I don't know if that is/was attributable to my inherent simplicity, if it confirms my as-of-yet undiagnosed ADD (now I suppose it's ADHD), an obsessive-compulsive nature or if God was trying to tell me something.
Being raised by a semi-religious fanatic mother, I usually tend to lend the last option the most value.
I have and always will believe that in these dreams, God was speaking to me.
In the first two, and perhaps oddest of these dreams, I still do not know the messages God was trying to convey. What do you think? (Sorry, I didn't really mean to ask for your opinion. I was just doing it to feign a sense of reaching out to my non-existent audience.)
DREAM #1: THE MISSING THING I WASN'T MISSING
I wake up from my upper bunk bed, climb down the ladder to the cold and unwelcoming morning floor, run down the hall to the stairs, scurry down the stairs and directly to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, I bolt for the junk drawer where I sift through the heap of mass bulletins, stained fridge magnets and dried up novelty pens to find my missing belt.
I would describe the belt except for the fact that I've totally forgotten what it looked like. I'm not sure it matters anyway. I was about 4 or 5 and really didn't need to wear belts. In reality, I'm not even sure I really had a belt to be missing. I think I did, but it's too long ago to know for sure. I remember the dream well though. I should - I had it about fifty times.
DREAM #2: POLKAZILLA
This one I must have had a hundred times. It was really interesting in that there was no sound in it except for a deep thump when Polkazilla bounces the ball. Okay, I know you're dying to know what it was. I come down the stairs again and all sound is muffled. My sisters and mother are in the kitchen but they don't seem to see me. I go in the garage to find my baby ball so I can bounce it around the sidewalk and pretend it's a basketball. But it's not there! The ball is missing! (In the real world, this ball had been missing since my toddlerhood and I was about 4 or 5 when I had this dream.) Suddenly , the whole house begins to shake as if there's an earthquake right here in New York City! Oh wow! What the H E C K am I gonna do! I'd better go outside and see what's up? I open the garage door and look out over my across-the-street neighbor's house (let's call him Mr. Bozo) and see, above the huge treetops lining the park one block away, the head of something gigantic bobbing up and down. It's Godzilla, I tell myself! Oh no! Godzilla's in the fargin' Bronx! What am I gonna do! I run into the house to tell my sisters and my mother to run for the sewers and they act like I'm not there. I can't speak anyway, there's no sound coming out of my, or anyone's, mouth. In frustration, I run outside again and I see the giant Godzilla figure coming down the block. He's turned the corner and the only thing I can hear/feel is the gargantuan thump of his feet as they hit the ground and make all of Ampere Avenue shake. I run to the backyard and my brother Aldo is there sitting in a circle with his moron friends playing a card game - I think it's go-fish but I'm too stressed to really pay attention to that detail - and I scream to them that Godzilla is coming but they can't hear me or are just ignoring me completely because I'm a pesky kid.
I shake my hands in frustration and run to the front of the house again and I see that the monster is in front of my house! He's not Godzilla though! He's big like Godzilla but he's yellow with a blue stripe down the middle and pink polka dots all over his scaly body. He is the same color as my baby ball!!! Oy vey! What the H E double hockey sticks does this mean? It can only mean one thing. He's after my ball! I sprint for the garage, which has its door wide open, to find my ball. I know this thing is after it and he's not going to get it. Just as I run in, the monster bends over, looks into the garage with one big eye and sticks his claw in the garage. His claw seems magically attracted to the exact location of the ball, which is under a pile of my father's construction crap. He takes the ball and stands up in the middle of Ampere Avenue and seems to smile! Can you believe it? This scaly, pink and yellow Godzilla-creature is taking my darn ball! He starts bouncing the thing, which somehow grows in his hand and proceeds to bounce it all the way back to the park. Boom! Boom! Boom! The earth shakes as he bounces and walks and disappears into Pelham Bay Park. The end.
So what the hell does that mean? I'd love for Freud to interpret that one.
DREAM #3: TUMBLING IN MID AIR DOWN THE STAIRS
This one really requires little explanation. I am about three. I look down the staircase, which has about sixteen steps. I start to step down and then I do this slow-mo tumble in mid air, down the stairway and that's it. Poof! I'm awake. I had that dream about twenty times as a kid.
DREAM #4: MY SISTER'S LEG IS A SALAMI
My youngest sister, who is still 12 years older than I am, has always been a delicate flower of a thing. She's very sensitive, loyal, sweet and I worry about her. Apparently, I worried about her when I was four as well. Let's call this sister, Moniqua. Once again, that couldn't be her name in a million years, but I like the name Moniqua. Actually, I like Sheniqua better, but I think Moniqua somehow suits her better. Anyway, Moniqua was a high school twirler. That means she twirled a baton around and did big leg kicks and such.
In my recurring dream, she was in the kitchen and doing twirls where she kicks high and brings the baton under her leg as she kicks and then above her head again. I think she may have actually done this trick, but again, I'm not sure as I was five and it was a long time ago and I have a lot of memory issues. So, in my dream, when she does the big kick up in the air, her leg comes off at mid thigh and the insides of her leg look just like the salami's hanging from the ceiling at the corner deli run by Mr. LoPadrino!!! She lets out a slow-motion scream and drops her baton, naturally. Then it's over. The dream is over and I wake up worried sick about Moniqua doing those kicks in twirler practice.
That's it. I probably had other more interesting dreams, but those were the most frequent. I had some weird sexual dream also, but I'm not going to say anything other than that for many years I thought it was an actual commercial for Wise potato chips that featured a topless woman saying "Get Wise" while reveling her left breast and holding a bag of chips. Well, I guess that's pretty much telling you the dream. I can't control myself.
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